But Grandma…

But Grandma, I”m 35 and I —I don’t have one. My clock is running. No one will find me attractive or respect me. All of my friends have more than one already. Remember Tzivia, well, she has two and she gets jobs all the time. I’m having such a hard time getting work that’s meaningful and satisfying. I’m convinced that they love my CV but when they see me, they simply don’t take me seriously. It’s as if all that great work on the third far-space programme was completely wasted, even though I headed the project at 28. At the time everyone made such a fuss and now…now it’s worth nothing.

I won’t patronise you by telling you not to worry or that everything will be okay, Dearie. But…don’t worry and everything will turn out okay. They will come. You just have to find the right situation, the right environment. Please don’t try those new artificial treatments. We, the Elders, can always tell. Besides, we have…ahemmmm…people on the inside who let us know who’s doing what to whom in the supposedly clandestine hospitals. They never come out right, always damaged in some way. Then you surely won’t get a job worthy of you.

Oh Grandma, that doesn’t help at all! I know you can’t influence anything, in spite of all your power on the Council. That would be unfair to the other Youngers. But isn’t there some kind of natural remedy? Some herb I can take that would make it happen? I’m getting really desperate. Every day I check and, no sign. I look at the spectroscope too just to make absolutely positive and still the answer is no.

I know, Dear. I had a friend many years ago who was in the same situation. We went to training together and she was brilliant. You might remember her, Dannyjean? I know your memory isn’t quite so good now, but she was around a lot when your Mum was a Middler. Anyway, her academic career was assured after training, Until it became evident she wan’t showing any signs of the Blessing. It took her a long time, but she finally made it. Now she’s on Arcadia as Head. Please don’t fret, Darling. It is inevitable. No woman has ever failed.

Well…that’s true, Grandma. Then why do I feel like slitting my wrists? Oh…did I say that? I didn’t really mean it, Grandma. Please don’t worry. It’s just a figure of speech. I feel so desperate, so…Oh, I don’t know, so worthless. No one will ever want me and all the jobs are crap.

Okay, Lula, it’s time for action. Stop all this nonsense and get a grip. Though I must say, I’m sorry. All your suffering is from my line. My mother, your Great Gran, didn’t have one until she was a VeryOlder! I know, I know. That’s unthinkable now. But in the olden days, people did all sorts of things to prevent them…pills, potions, even artificial implants. Hard to believe, isn’t it? So, if you blame anyone, blame her. Though, of course, we know nothing about her Olders. They were all wiped out in the Great Extermination.

You know there is a relic that has her image in the Great Museum in the Capital. I think they called those things photos. There aren’t many of those still around, so they’re in Museums. Anyway, she was quite an imposing person. But she looks really stiff. Oh but I’m wandering. Sorry dear. Yes, what to do about your situation, in the now?

There is only one thing that I know to do in times like this. Don’t think I’m weird please, but when all else fails, pray. I know, I know. It sounds so retro, something from the Before Times. And yet, surrendering to what is seems to create more peace inside. Somehow then, the issues take their true place. We have perspective.

Oh no! I’m lecturing again, aren’t I? I’m sorry Lula. It’s such a habit. I don’t mean to ‘fix’ you or to provide a palliative. Only to say that’s the only wisdom I have right now. Let me go to the cave and see what I see.

Four weeks later.

My darling Lula, I’ve got it. The message came loud and clear and cannot be denied. They spoke to me after two and a half weeks of meditating and fasting and praying along with drumming and dancing and weeping as well as, of course, beseeching. The said, “Tell her to wait. It is inevitable. Just WAIT.”

Isn’t that marvellous? A true miracle of the spirit. How do you feel about that, Dear?

Four weeks later

Hi Grandma! Well, I waited and look. It’s true, Here’s the proof. Your Intervention worked. Look! I’m so excited. I can’t wait to tell my friends. It has finally happened, and none too soon. I had applied for a, pardon the pun, a high flying job at the Rocket Research Academy, along with others of my cohort, of course. I was so scared they wouldn’t even consider my application. I was too Young. I didn’t have one yet.

And then, after you went into the Cave, it happened. I could revise my application. I zipped off a message and the verified proof to them. And, Gran, I got an instant reply. Now that I qualify fully, I have the job. It starts next week! I know it’s because of what you did. That’s what made it happen, just like you said. Of course, I prayed too, just not in a cave. After all, I had to keep going to work every day.

Then I tested, and there it was for all to see. My first. No other one will be the same. I will nurture this one with all my love and care and tenderness. Of course there will be more along the way, but none will be the First. I’ve done it!

I have my first wrinkle.