My Personal Paradigm Shift

Without a doubt, the transition to elderhood is a time often marked by the loss of professional work and identity, the death of loved ones, changes to our physical bodies, and both planned or unplanned geographical moves. Yet, many of us are totally unprepared for the dramatic life changes that occur.  I know because I was one of those who was ill prepared for what life had in store. As a successful and experienced psychotherapist it’s embarrassing to admit that I paid no attention to aging until it shattered my illusions and left me adrift. In what seemed like a flash, my beloved husband unexpectedly died, and I found myself living in a new state to be closer to my son and his family.

Before I knew it, everything had changed, including the loss of a lifelong community and my professional career.

Although I always considered myself to be a well-grounded adult, I was fully adrift and confused as to why. Attempts to ‘settle in’, using the tools I’d developed over a lifetime, did not bring me the satisfaction and contentment that I once had cultivated. Then, I came across a book on aging, and began to get that my sense of drifting had a lot to do with this “aging” thing.  Nettled that I had paid so little attention to navigating this vital stage of life, I began to read all that I could find on the topic.

It was through this dogged pursuit that I came across Sage-in International.

When I found Sage-ing International online I was excited, elated really. There was something unique about how they perceived and discussed aging and I knew right off, this was my tribe. I learned that the years of the last third of life are not the downward spiral we’ve heard about. In Sage-ing I discovered that changing this paradigm, this heavily entrenched and culturally negative view of aging, wasn’t just a shift in culture, but a profound shift within me.

The Sage-ing community and my involvement in it has grown over the years.  The vast array of workshops and courses offered by SI feeds my soul, mind, and heart. The Sage-ing way, philosophy, and tools have guided me as I live into my aging and plumb the rich depths of meaning and wisdom in my life and my elderhood.

Whether gathering with my Wisdom Circle of 10 years or serving on various committees and undertaking projects, I know I’m in a community with like- minded people; people who are reaching outward to connect and grow and learn and experience aging as an embrace and celebration of life. I was excited to see recently published studies on aging satisfaction showing; when we experience our lives as meaningful and productive, are content and happy in later life, we actually live our later years more fully and healthfully. In other words, how I think and feel about my aging has a direct effect on my healthfulness as I age. Conscious aging and Sage-ing are good for your health!

Each of us in my sage-ing community experience that aging is ultimately marked by change. Yes, it is change in the form of losses, losses of people, places, faculties, physical health and memory. But it is also change in the form of gains; gains in a depth of gratitude, joy, forgiveness, connection, new abilities, relationships and an expansion of spirituality. By helping to develop an equanimity with letting go, befriending our internal resistances and stretching out to embrace all of life including death, SI creates a true paradigm shift. A personal paradigm shift that has brought meaning, purpose and satisfaction to me in this time of my life.

Questions and comments can be sent to sage-ingtimes@sage-ing.org