Making Empathy A Way of Life

We’re in the throes of dealing with such differing views of where we are as a country and where we are going. We have just witnessed our Presidential election and are in the aftermath of that election now. Combined with world affairs, war and global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.

Deep breath.

What lies underneath the rage and fear is a belief that we’re not okay, that our families aren’t okay, that the world isn’t okay, and especially the inner voice that says there’s nothing I can do about it.

We may not be able to single-handedly solve the world’s problems and the populations of people who are suffering, but we can do something about our current state of being. By doing that, we empower ourselves, our families, and all who encounter us. And that has a positive impact on the world.

I believe this completely. We can make a difference. We have a choice about how we respond.

So, let’s start by changing our thoughts so we can move from there’s nothing I can do about it to I’m scared (or angry, or furious or outraged or…).

Do you feel that subtle difference that happens when we translate the thought into a feeling? For some of us, it’s not even subtle. When I do this, I instantly take a deep breath and I feel somewhat more resourceful or resilient.

Then, add a need to the statement to create even greater layers of resilience and relief:

• I’m scared and long for trust that there are world leaders who are working toward peace and care for all.

Sometimes fewer words work better for me:

• I feel utter despair and want hope.
•  I’m outraged and ache for true caring and empathy.
•  I’m not scared, I’m terrified, and I want to know that I’ll be okay.
•  I’m sad and I long for nurturing and warmth.
•  I feel lost and want direction for how I can best support my family (or myself, or my community, or the world, or…).
•  I’m lonely and long for tenderness (or affection, or companionship, or nurturing, or…).

Do any of these statements ring true for you? If they don’t, what would your statement be?

Can you feel how such a simple step of translating an idea, a thought, such as there’s nothing I can do about it to your feelings and needs can make such a deep and meaningful impact? It instantly brings us back home to ourselves, our true place of power, and brings with it a sense of relief. It doesn’t solve the world’s problems, but it can center us enough so we can show up in our lives and relationships in greater harmony with our values.

This is one simple and profound thing each of us can do to create more peace and love and caring in our world.

Please join me in bringing empathy full-on into your life. Recommit to making empathy a way of life, not just something you “do” when in an NVC* workshop. And, then notice how it can positively impact all aspects of your life and those you love.

I can tell you that I’m desperate to receive this, and I am happy to offer it. If our paths cross, please don’t hold back. Even seasoned certified NVC trainers, like myself and others, are hungry right now to experience greater demonstrations of empathy. Let’s meet this trying time together.

Holding you in love,

Mary

Mary Mackenzie, M.A.

CEO and Founder, NVC Academy

Author: Giraffe and Jackal are Friends (Again!)

Author: Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion

MaryMackenzie.net

*Nonviolent Communication (also known as NVC or compassionate communication) is a method of communicating created by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg based on universal human feelings and needs. The purpose of NVC is to create empathy and to promote cooperative solutions that meet peoples’ needs.