Are We Ageist?

How many of us see ourselves as ageist? I suspect not many, especially those of us who are proponents of aging well. As it is seen as negative, it is difficult to look at our own ageist beliefs towards others and ourselves. My hope is to shed light on this so we can more effectively deal with it. As our theme for this issue is inclusiveness, we shall see how ageism is the antithesis of this.

We unconsciously judge ourselves and others who don’t look (or act) like the images that are promoted in the media of how we are supposed to look. For example, that of a white haired, slim, well dressed, and active person. Those who don’t look this way or seem to act more slowly or show other signs of aging can be perceived more negatively.  For those who doubt what I’m saying, here are a few examples of how unconscious we are about ageism:

• I was in a line-up in a department store waiting to pay for something. The person at the cash register looked to be in her 60’s and it was taking her a long time to process payment from the customer she was serving. As I waited, it dawned on me that I was judging her for being too slow because of her age. I realized that I didn’t know why it was taking her so long. Anyone could have experienced the same problem regardless of their age. Here I am thinking of this while I give workshops on aging!
• A person I know said that he went to a party and saw a woman whom he had not seen in a while. He remembered her as a person fully engaged in life, who was now quite stooped over, holding onto a walker. He didn’t go over to talk to her. Later, she sat next to him, and they had a great conversation on a variety of topics. He realized afterwards that he had dismissed her because he found her unappealing and assumed that their interaction would be uninteresting. He realized much later that seeing her triggered his own fear of looking like her someday. He too is someone who gives courses on aging.
• Connie Zweig, in her book: “The Inner Work of Age” stated: “a frail, elderly woman sat next to me in a restaurant. I noticed her tattered clothes and dirty hands. She ordered free samples, and I observed that I felt uncomfortable – no, if I’m being honest, I felt repulsed. My inner dialogue went like this: ’she shouldn’t be here at my favorite vegan restaurant. It’s so sad – those wrinkles, that frailty, poverty, and neediness. I’ll never be like that.  I was meeting in myself an unconscious shadow character that was projecting onto her what I was denying and rejecting in myself – my own loss of youthful vitality, my vulnerability, and my potential dependency, loneliness, and poverty. I was projecting onto her a dark image of my future self, if I lived long enough to be “old” and deeply disliking what I saw and felt.”  Again, this is a person who is a Certified Sage-ing Leader with an in-depth understanding of ageism.

As you can see, we all have an “inner ageist” that judges both other people as well as ourselves unconsciously. If we don’t see it, we can’t transform it. How do we deal with this? Let us take a more in-depth look at how we define ageism.

According to the World Health Organization, the nature of ageism refers to:

• Stereotypes (how we think) – a fixed, oversimplified, and biased belief about a particular trait, characteristic or behaviors that we automatically assign to a group of people (positive or negative), e.g., “they are all slow”.
• Prejudice (attitude) – a preconceived and unfounded negative opinion, attitude, evaluations, or bias, devaluing old people e.g., “They have nothing of value to contribute.”
• Discrimination (how we act) – negative actions taken based on stereotypes and prejudices against old people. The actions can range from keeping our interactions at a minimum because we don’t see they have anything of value to contribute to us, to the other end of the spectrum, where we don’t hire them, and to an extreme, we take measures to remove them either visually or physically from society e.g., absent in the media, warehouse them in institution-like environments.

“MedicalNewsToday,” addresses the types of ageism as follows:

• “Institutional ageism, which occurs when an institution perpetuates ageism through its actions and policies.
• Interpersonal ageism, which occurs in social interactions.
• Internalized ageism, which is when a person internalizes ageist beliefs and applies them to themselves.”

Let’s look at these more closely.

Institutional Ageism

• Health care
  • Medications not tested on older adults resulting in no information available on how medications could impact the elderly.
  • Minimizing or normalizing elders’ symptoms as being normal for their age resulting in perhaps less adequate medical treatment.
  • Not offering expensive prognosis tools or life-saving therapies.
• Workplace
  • Systematically terminating older adults under the guise of downsizing to reduce pension payouts and bring on a younger cheaper workforce.
  • Viewing older adults as out of touch, less productive, or stuck in their ways.
• Media
  • Older adults are not fully represented in movies, advertising, films, magazines.
  • We mainly see well-dressed, young-looking, white-haired old people.
  • Where we do see old-looking people, they are often seen as silly or mainly promoting medication or senior living accommodations.
• Interpersonal Ageism 
  • The language we use: “she looks good for her age”; “I’m having a senior moment”.
  • The medical profession talking down or over the old person.
  • Treating family members as though they are invisible, unintelligent, or expendable based on their age.
  • Making ageist jokes that imply someone is less valuable or less worthy of respect, based on their age.
  • Disregarding someone’s concerns or wishes due to their age.
• Internalized Ageism
  • We believe all the above-mentioned ageism to be true as it applies to us.
  • I’m losing things, I must be losing my mind.
  • I look old, I’m no longer attractive.

All these forms of ageism demonstrate our culture’s view on being old. In Margaret Marganroth Gullette’s book: “Ending Ageism or How not to Shoot Old People”, she states: “The old, visual spectacles of decrepitude, are either feeble, unproductive, or demented, appropriate objects of revulsion.” She also distinguishes aging and ageism: “aging is the process that serves as the trigger for ageism.” She hit the crux of the matter: when we see someone who fits our definition of old (hers was feeble, unproductive or demented), or see ourselves this way, this triggers our ageist beliefs, what we fear about aging.

How do we address it?

In that same “MedicalNewsToday” article, “The World Health Organization proposes these 3 ways to combat ageism:

• Education to dispel myths and stereotypes and raise awareness of the impact of ageism.
• Intergenerational interventions, creating cooperation and empathy between age groups.
• Law and policy changes, which can reduce inequity and discrimination.

On an individual level, people can contribute to these efforts by being an ally. Allyship involves dedicating personal time and energy to act against ageism by:

• Becoming aware of ageism:Reflect on how ageism shapes one’s own thoughts, feelings, and life experiences.
• Learning about ageism:Learn how ageism affects others by listening to personal stories, reading books, and researching.
• Developing skills:Learn about and practice advocacy skills, such as knowing when to speak up and when to step back.
• Taking action:Put this knowledge into practice. Try correcting ageist stereotypes, challenging ageist jokes, or speaking out against ageist discrimination. Remember that this does not involve rescuing people, but supporting and advocating for them in situations where they are struggling to be heard.”

Now, it is up to us to decide how we address ageism. We can start with challenging it as it shows up in our everyday life:

• I went to a huge 2-story Canadian Tire store where an elderly greeter asked how he could help me. I described what I wanted as something like an extension cord but with many outlets. We both couldn’t come up with the precise name for that item (power bar). He said that he was having a “senior moment” because he couldn’t I told him that young people also experience this, it is not unique to us. He agreed with me, now quite cheerful as he directed me to the second floor.

Recognize and challenge our own inner ageist more often:

• A friend shared how her inner ageist shows up: “I just developed serious knee trouble and had to buy a cane to get to and from the Dr’s offices. I then promptly misplaced the cane. I was aware of being even more bent over (than I’ve become from severe scoliosis) as I tried to limp along. The pain displaced the inner ageist momentarily, but losing the cane is kind of like an inner ageist acting out tantrum, lol.”

Challenge our Western culture:

• when we hear someone say that older people are not contributing to society when they are providing billion dollars’ worth of free labor in a variety of ways.

Acknowledge that:

• although an elder’s body may be weak, the soul/essence of the person remains strong, if we are willing to see it. Many have interesting things to say if we were willing to ask and receptive to hearing it.

Educate ourselves by:

• reading books – five are listed below.
• checking out websites like the ones listed below.

In closing, I hope I have given you a better understanding of what is ageism, how it is alive and well in your life and hopefully provided you with enough information to take on ageism in whatever way you see fit.

Questions to Reflect upon:

• Have you personally experienced the bias/prejudice/discrimination mentioned above?
• What triggers your ageist views/beliefs about yourself and others? How has it shown up in your life?
• What can you do to reduce/challenge ageism?

Recommended reading:

“This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism” by Ashton Applewhite

“Ending Ageism or How Not to Shoot Old People” by Margaret Morganroth Gulette

“The Inner Work of Age – Shifting from Role to Soul” by Connie Zweig, Ph.D.

“Breaking the Age Code – How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How long & Well You Live” by Becca Levy PhD.

“Elderhood – Redefining Aging, Transforming Medicine, Reimagining Life” by Louise Aronson

Quotes

It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment; and in these qualities old age is usually not only not poorer but is even richer. – Cicero, 106-43 B.C.

Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength. – Betty Friedan, 1921-2006

Websites

Global report on ageism (who.int)  (WHO)

UNFPA EECA | Pervasive ageism is a major challenge in Europe: UN

Ageism: Aging Is Not A Disease | Refined by Age

Internalized Ageism – Discriminating against ourselves as we age | Institute for Public Health | Washington University in St. Louis (wustl.edu)

What is ageism? Types, examples, and impact on health (medicalnewstoday.com)