A Practice in Conscious Aging: Open Communication

In each issue we will highlight a Sage-ing practice that you may find valuable to implement in your own life. While many of us probably consider ourselves to be good communicators and may have even taken seminars on how to better communicate, this practice provides useful tips on enhancing your open communication.

One of the ten Qualities of Sages in Service is Open Communication: We practice effective communication by honoring mutuality in speech with language that reflects accurate, clear information and nurtures trust in relationships.  This concept of trust is a key element of Sage-ing because trust creates strong relationships and spiritual intimacy.  So, what does this mean? And how can you practice?  Here are some suggestions.

• Try seeing every person as a human being with the similar feelings, needs and longings that you experience (vs seeing the other as an adversary).
• Hear more than just the words the person is saying but the heart of the person behind the words. Sometimes, the words strike us in a certain way and generate a less than positive reaction. So, take a moment to “hear” more than just the words but the intention and heart behind the words.
• Listen with your body and your mind, really being present to another person—vs. looking at your phone or having the TV on in the background.
• Offer grace knowing that people make mistakes in their communication (think texting, emails, phone and in-person) and say things that initially trigger you. Pause before responding (sometimes a long pause!) and really think about giving that person “grace” and responding in a way that promotes the conversation positively vs. towards a downward spiral.
• Be honest in your communication and gentle, recognizing the feelings of the other.
• Give verbal gratitude, acknowledgment and positive reinforcement to another for whatever they do to contribute.
• Be as clear as possible in your communication saying what is true for you starting with “I” not you….I think, I believe, I feel.
• If you are confused about a communication, clarify and ask “are you saying…..”

Listen with your body, your heart, your eyes, your energy, your total presence.

Listen in silence, without interrupting.

Fill any spaces of silence between you with love.

–  Beth Roth

Questions and comments can be sent to sage-ingtimes@sage-ing.org