A Good Ancestor

Do you remember the sugar cube with the pink liquid on it? You might have been given it by the school nurse sometime in the 60s. Or you might remember the polio vaccine as a shot some time earlier. That first amazing success at eradicating the devastating disease was created by Dr. Jonas Salk. Though never recognised by the Nobel Prize committee he left us with an amazing legacy. He also left us with a sentence that has moved and inspired many…

“Our greatest responsibility is to be good ancestors.”

What makes a good ancestor? Is it someone who leaves you a lot of money or property? Is it someone who inspired you…a teacher, a leader, a friend? Is it someone whom you respect?

The qualities of a sage in service can serve as a template for becoming a “good ancestor”.

• deep listening
• compassion
• joyfulness
• peacefulness
• open communication
• lifelong learning
• inclusiveness
• integrity
• reverence for life
• respect

Each of these qualities is a gift we can embody daily and a gift we leave behind.

To be heard by someone who is listening with deep attention is a rare thing. The ability to truly listen, with heart and mind focused on the present, is a skill and an art of the sage, the elder. It is a way we serve in a moment of connection, a rare commodity in modern life.

Compassion, a quality of all faith paths, allows us to feel and honour the suffering around us. In this time of deep disharmony and pain, compassion is essential for building bridges across seemingly irreconcilable differences. Only by knowing the anguish of others can we open our hearts to offer solace and find solutions.

The expression of joy serves as a balance to suffering. They are the mutually supportive qualities of life…the light and dark, the sun and shadow, day and night. Joy enlivens us to the gifts we have and holds the suffering in its embrace. The sage has experienced enough of life to honour its joy-filled moments.

Peacefulness emerges from the ability to create an inner quiet. From that inner space we can develop the gratitude that acknowledges the gift of the small and large lessons of our lives. This peace allows us to connect deeply with all of existence.

Being able to communicate with an open heart and a receptive mind creates an environment of trust and caring. The vulnerability of telling our truth, even in difficult conversations, opens a channel for mutual understanding. By engaging in honest communication the elder is a model for healing divisions, for life repair and for opening unexpected pathways.

Staying alive to the new and to the unexplored enlivens each day. A sense of curiosity stimulates the desire to continue to learn and to cultivate our development. The willingness to remain open to the stimulation of the new allows for excitement and passion in each day.

Including those whose background is different from our own, whether it be racial, religious, sexual orientation or country of birth, creates a rich experience of life. To welcome each thread in the tapestry of existence broadens our horizons and makes for a fuller, more colourful, experience. It opens doors that may have been closed, or doors we hadn’t known existed.

Integrity provides a strong backbone for relationships. It engenders trust as we speak our truth in a caring way while honouring the truth of others. This creates a sense of wholeness and undiminished soundness to any relationship.

Caring for all of life allows us to live in a connected world, where we are not isolated from all that is. This deep connection can bring into being something unique and evolutionary. To honour all that is includes honouring ourselves as an integral part of the whole.

Holding in esteem another person’s worth also contributes to trust in relationships. As we value others we reflect our own value and contribution. The recognition of another’s qualities and abilities creates a bond of caring and honesty in all of our interactions.

By cultivating and practising these qualities we create a strong sense of the value of elders in our communities. By standing firm in these qualities we exemplify the vital role elders play in the on-going flow of life. We also leave the legacy that makes us good ancestors.

Felice Rhiannon is a Certified Sage-ing Leader and a Onespirit Minister and spiritual counselor in Great Britain.  She can be reached at elderspiritblog.wordpress.com.